


Amor Vincit Omnia

by prairiecrow



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Father Figure, Internal Monologue, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-12
Updated: 2011-09-12
Packaged: 2017-10-23 16:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/252319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prairiecrow/pseuds/prairiecrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sisko has learned something new about his Chief Medical Officer. Now he has to decide what to do about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amor Vincit Omnia

**Author's Note:**

> Set immediately after "The Search".

"Doctor Bashir." I infuse my voice with quiet command and you immediately pause under the arch of the airlock, turning around to gaze at me with wide hazel eyes. Chief O'Brien, who was walking at your side, continues on his way but offers you a quick smile of support. I wonder what he thinks I'm going to say to you.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure about that myself.

The maiden mission of the  _Defiant_  was one for the history books, an encounter with the power behind the Dominion that we all managed to escape with our skins more or less intact. Our minds are a different story: Constable Odo in particular will have a lot to process in the days to come, as will I — and as will you, although each of us will have our own burdens to work through. For Odo it will be a matter of torn loyalties and dashed hopes; for myself, the thousand questions that must be asked and the mountain of data that must be analyzed in the aftermath of direct contact with a new enemy. And in your case…

I'm not accustomed to your being a question mark, Julian Subatoi Bashir. In fact before today I would have pegged you as the easiest to decipher of all my senior officers, an eager young doctor whose motivations and desires were worn on your sleeve. But in the Dominion's simulation I saw something that I did not expect, although in hindsight I can recognize that the signs were there long before the crisis that revealed the previously unsuspected. I find myself wondering if it was as great a surprise to you as it was to me, or if there's more that I'm missing here: not merely attraction, but indulgence and fulfillment. I wonder how far you've gone, or if you truly understand the stakes involved.

You gaze at me expectantly and I remember the devastation in your eyes as you stared at the simulated death of a simulated version of a Cardassian spy, the way I had to take hold of your upper arm and physically pull you away from his corpse. I've seen that expression before: in fact I've worn it myself, on the day my world was shattered at Wolf 359, and again I ponder the question of whether you consciously desired him before that instant or if the horror of losing him was the moment of revelation.

There are any number of things that I  _should_  say at this point, including a lecture about your responsibilities as a Starfleet officer and a stern admonition to stay the hell away from Garak. But what the wisdom of my lifetime has to offer is this:  _There are things in this universe that are so rare that when you find them you should seize hold of them and never let go until they're torn away from you. Love is worth fighting for and it's worth dying for. Is that a lesson you've learned, Julian? Would you tell me even if you had?_

What I say instead is: "I'll expect a full report on the physical aftereffects of the simulation on all Starfleet personnel involved, and on possible medical complications of the procedure, on my desk by 0900 tomorrow."

You nod briskly, but you also look a little puzzled, as well you should. I don't usually tell you how to do your job. "Of course, sir. I'll get on that right away."

I nod in dismissal. As you turn away again I know that tonight you'll pay a visit to Garak's quarters, or he'll be invited to yours, and what will happen then could take any number of forms but will boil down to something I'm better off not knowing. You'll bear closer watching over the next several weeks, but one thing I'm certain of is that your loyalty to the Federation has never been in question. As ruthlessly cunning as Garak is I doubt he'd be able to convince you to betray your most deeply held principles. 

Perhaps, however, a brief conversation with our resident Cardassian tailor would be in order. Yes…. we won't even have to talk about you at all: the simulated Garak was clever and capable of conveying and interpreting more than one level of meaning, a skill which I'm sure will pale in comparison to the real thing. The message will be delivered in allusions and metaphors, the answer tendered in kind, and by the time Garak and I part company the lines between us — and surrounding you — will be clearly drawn. I flatter myself that even an Obsidian Order operative will know better than to cross me once I've made my feelings known, especially since his continued presence on this station depends to a large degree upon my goodwill. 

As I watch you walk away, so professional and proud yet still so young and untried, I reflect that a commanding officer is often called upon to act as a surrogate father to his crew — and now that I think about it, that this has never been more the case than when it comes to you. You're a grown man and I can't dictate who you choose to give your affections to. It would be foolish and counterproductive to even try. But that doesn't relieve me of my responsibility to protect you, and in that duty I will not hesitate, whether you're aware of my efforts or not. 

You'll do what your heart compels you to do, Julian. And so will I.

THE END


End file.
